The questions we get asked a lot: “When are you two going to start having babies?” Or, “Do you have kids?” These questions brings up so many emotions which include anger and sadness. Most people who ask would have no clue what Clayton and I are going through and others simply forget what we are going through. I cannot be mad at anyone for asking these questions, it’s natural people want to know. This post is to clarify some questions people have as to why Clayton and I are choosing to go down the adoption path.
At the age of 13 I(Laura) was diagnosed with PolyCystic Ovarian Syndrome(PCOS for short) and was told by my doctor at that young age that it would be very tough for me to have kids. Well, I was 13 i really didn’t care at that time that it “Might” be hard for me to have kids, i was a kid myself! Many women have this disease and have many kids, it affects everyone differently. My ovaries are filled with fluid-filled cysts and solid cysts which cause the body to not ovulate when it should. I would typically go 6-10 months without having a period and would get intense pain when these cysts would rupture.
When i was 21 I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis(MS). MS usually does not play a factor with becoming pregnant or cause any pregnancy issues. Usually when pregnant with MS the person will feel better, and symptoms clear up. Only after the delivery do problems, or relapses, occur from over-exertion and stress. With me I have several relapses a year, which clear up with time and medication. I take an injection called Rebif to help with my disease. It helps with my MS and keeps me very active!
Now on to more of our story.
Clayton and I decided that before our second wedding(our vow-renewal) we wanted my IUD taken out and for us to start trying to have our first child! I was so excited to start and become pregnant! Months went by without anything happening, my OB/GYN wanted us to try for 6-months and if nothing happened then we would take the next step. My neurologist allowed me to be off my shots for 6-months while we try to have a child. My neurologist was weary for me to be off my meds but wanted me to be drug free if i became pregnant. 4-months into trying to conceive a baby I relapsed with my MS and was put back on my shots, i could not stay off of them while trying. If i became pregnant i could then stop my injections. By month 6 i was eager to get help, i was wanting to be pregnant and become a mother, for us to become parents. My OB/GYN had me run through many different tests: Blood tests, Ultrasounds, Hysterosalpingogram(to check my tubes), ovulation tests. She also had Clayton do a semen analysis. Every test came back fine, just fine… we chose to keep trying and let God decide when it was right! 2 years into trying to conceive we still were not pregnant. I was now told i’m infertile and most likely the only way to conceive would be through IVF. However, my doctors(OB/GYN and Neurologist) were urging me to go to a Maternal Fetal Medicine specialist for a 3rd opinion as to if having our own child is the best option. I met with the specialist and was told that with what my OB/GYN and Neurologist has told him about my history I should think about adoption or surrogacy. It was my own decision on to whether or not to have a child naturally but would not be able to go off of my MS medication(they can be harmful to the fetus and most are not tested on). Clayton and I do not want to play Russian Roulette with our child. He explained that with the stress of IVF treatments, and carrying the child he is nervous that my day-to-day level of function would deteriorate. He looked me in the eye and asked, “Do you want to be able to play with your kids, walk, or care for them?” Of coarse i do! We made the toughest decision in our lives so far, but came to the conclusion that God has a child for us somewhere and when we meet him or her I will be healthy enough to care for them like he/she deserves!! My health is very important to me, as is becoming a mother. Please, do not think i am choosing myself over a child with Clayton, he agrees 100% with the decisions we have made. Adoption is God’s plan for us, i can feel it in my heart! If there are any questions I would be happy to answer them! ❤